Swimsuit season, blah. It can bring out the worst in everyone. Let me tell you, I now know from experience that pride comes before the fall. And by fall, I mean boobies (if mine could talk they would scream "Help, we've fallen and can't get up!"). In fact, nothing seems to be quite were I left it at 21 years of age. No, someone has come in and rearranged all the furniture (actually, there are 3 someone's who have stretched it out over a 6 year period). What used to look like the custom designer showcase gallery now resembles a used set from Furniture Factory Outlet. Thus the reason for the cranky mood this weekend. I heard a rumor that there were a ton of cute swimsuits at Dillard's, and yes they did look really "cute" on the hanger, but not so cute off the hanger and on the bod, and there was nothing cute about the $100+ price tag. So I left Dillard's slightly more than a little disgruntled and headed to Target.
Target had a good selection of mix and match pieces so I grabbed a few and headed towards the dressing room. When I got there the fabulously unenthusiastic dressing room attendant barely looked up from her pile of unfolded clothes and yawned "How many?" I counted the tops and bottoms and skirts and coverups and told her I had nine. "Limit's 6," she said as she rolled her eyes at me.
Look, I'm all for rules....remember in my earlier post when I so graciously explained to my son about rules and authority and all that stuff??? But there is a time and a place for bending (not breaking) rules. ---More of a flexible discretion of enforcement of said policy, and I believe this was one of those times. I tried to win her over with an "oh, come on, I really don't want to try these on and then walk back out here half naked to get the rest". Surely she would get it. It's a universal female code that no one wants to prance through the dressing room area, fluorescent lights blaring, with a swimsuit that doesn't fit and has your granny panties sticking out 2 inches from every angle. Apparently she was new to this planet and hadn't learned the code.
"Limit's 6".
This is the point of the story that I want to tell you how a spirit-filled, virtuous woman responds in a situation like this (when I get an email back from Beth Moore, I'll let you know). Until then, I'll tell you what I said.
I began looking through my pile, trying to decipher which 6 to try on first, while I glanced sarcastically back at the attendant and said "Well, let me see here, I'm trying to decide which ones I want to shove in my purse the most!"
Swimsuit season....I told you it brings out the worst.
7 comments:
I always have tears from laughing so hard at your posts!!! At least you tried some on....I'm boycotting summer!
Did you get one? I keep putting it off...thinking "a few more weeks at the gym..." You'll have to let me know how you got the music.
That's too funny! Well-all I know is that at least I'll have a reason for a fat belly THIS summer. Now, just don't ask me about summers past and future...
I hear you!!! I am glad someone else can put it into words so clearly. You are hilarious. I seriously think I am like an A cup now!!! What? I am going to have to start buying separates just because of my shrinking breasts. Strangest thing to be complaining about small boobs. Anyway, I love your candor!!
LOL! Stacy you're so good at explaining things...and in a humorous way. I loved reading your swimsuit story. I've been checking your blog for you fitness updates...you'll have to update me via IM or email. Hope all is well with your family. We would love to see you.
hmmm..... I am feeling REAL sorry for you! :-) Did you know that they make bra size "nearly A"??!!! Yes, it is sad, but true!
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