Monday, October 20, 2008

Unicorns and Hearts and Smiley Faces

Well, if my last post made you need a Prozac or Zoloft or just a big piece of chocolate cake, I apologize. I'm better now. : )

I forgot something about "the Potter." He doesn't leave His work. He doesn't leave the wheel spinning and let the clay try to do something on it's own. His hands are always at work, always shaping and molding. So instead of me saying "hey, what about this spot over here?" or "wow, this area is NOT looking good," I'm just going to sit back and let Him do his work and enjoy the ride.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.
Philippians 1:6

Friday, October 17, 2008

In the middle. . .

Somewhere in the Middle (by Casting Crowns)

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

This is my new favorite song. My sister-in-law sent it to me this morning right before I had to take Sawyer to soccer practice (needless to say I showed up to practice with mascara dripping down my face, wiping my eyes, blaming those pesky allergies).

It hits me hard, right where I’m at. Caught in the middle between my best and God’s best. Caught in the middle of what I say and what I do. Caught in the middle of striving and just abiding. Caught in the middle of good intentions and obedient actions.

I say caught, but I’m not. To say I’m caught is like someone standing in a huge open field screaming “Let me out of this cage. I can’t get out.” No, maybe “stuck” is more accurate.

I’m stuck in the middle.

I like before and after pictures. I love them. I like to say “Wow, what a transformation!” I get bored with the in between. I tire of the process. I like results. But that’s where I’m at right now. In the process. Clay in the hands… messy, muddy, spinning on a wheel. I either want to be the nice packaged clay in the box or the finished perfectly crafted end product. It’s this in between, this refining, this messy messy globby mess that is so hard for me.