Sick and Sicker

SIGH....what a week or weeks or has it been a month? I'm not quite sure. It seems like my days are blurring together into an undefinable amount of time. For the last few weeks we've made multiple trips to the doctor's office. I guess I should technically say "doctors' offices" since we tend to just go to whichever one is 1. open, 2. doesn't have a wait. The first visit was for Sawyer, he was running a fever, but feeling okay overall----one of those "obligatory guilt relieving" visits (definition: when you know that it's nothing serious, that they are going to tell you that it's "just a cold" and to "keep him hydrated", and then you pay your $25 copay----BUT you feel like a good mom, because what if it HAD turned out to be something serious and it was all your fault because you thought you knew it all and didn't want to spend $25!) So that was done, 1 down more to go! While I was there I thought I'd go ahead and find out if Sawyer's vaccinations were current. They weren't. He needed his 5 "kindergarten" shots, so we scheduled an appt. for the next week. In the meantime, Sunny began to run a fever (on a Friday night of course). This always happens to us. I think we must have an immune system disorder that is triggered on weekends and holidays. Makes for some nice emergency room visits---again, not so much true emergencies...but the "obligatory guilt relieving" visits to the ER. Thankfully, there are a few clinics open on the weekends, so I took Sunny in on a Sunday afternoon. The dr. said she did have some fluid in her ear...but that it wasn't infected "yet" and it was probably just a cold. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, the word "yet" kind of threw me off. Yet, as in, the infection is inevitable or yet, as in, there is something you can do to prevent it? So again, I paid my $25 copay and headed home.

By Tuesday we were back at the pediatrician's office for Sawyer's shots and for my attempt at getting a 2 for 1 appt. to see if the YET had happened in Sunny's ear. Going to the dr. with all 3 kids is a terrible experience! My kids turn into wild animals in the dr.'s office waiting room (seriously, if I wasn't so certain of the Creator, I could at times support the theory that we do have some crazy ape in us!). There is a sign on the door that instructs us to leave the door closed at all times. This feels like a prison sentence to me. I feel like they are trapping me in the monkey cage (a germ infested monkey cage---where my little monkeys feel the need to touch, lick, wipe, chew, rub on every germ infected corner of the room). We were in the cage for 45 minutes while we waited to see the dr. We finally went back to the exam room and waited for another 25 minutes (during that 25 minutes I yelled, I cried, I threatened, I forgot every bit of wisdom and peace that I had received from Bible Study only hours before). Let me tell you a few quotes from that 25 minutes: "Walker if you lick that trash can one more time you are going to get the biggest spanking of your life" "Sawyer, please stop slamming the doctor's chair against the door" "please stop it right now" "STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" "You are not too sick to get a spanking." Vain vain threats! They know full well that I can't stop nursing Sunny, put her down on the dirty floor, and give them a spanking at the doctor's office. When the doctor finally came in for Sawyer's 5 year check up she asked a series of questions:
What she asked 1.How much TV does Sawyer watch on a daily basis?
(What I heard: I'm about to judge you on your level of competency for being a good mother.) I don't lie, I try really hard not to, I teach my kids not to, I hate lying....but certain circumstances call for truth exclusion, one is when they ask me if I floss at the dentist office, I say, "most of the time"....I don't include the rest of the sentence "most of the time when there is something stuck in my teeth"...so when she asked how much TV does he watch I said "probably about 30 minutes" what I didn't include was "probably about 30 minutes in the morning, and then again in the mid morning, and then again in the afternoon, and again in the evening". I didn't have time to explain that we are living with my in-laws and trying to finish building a house and that requires a lot of my brain (and there isn't a lot left) so my kids are actually watching a lot of TV at this point, but ATLEAST it is educational, well, sort of)
Then she asked "What type of punishment do you use with Sawyer" (OH no, did she hear my threaten everyone with the biggest spanking of their lives just minutes ago? Did they go ahead and call the child hotline? is it permanently noted in my motherhood record????) "um, mostly time out" I said.
Then she told Sawyer that she needed to check his boy parts and we all talked about that it was okay since she was a doctor and mommy was in the room, and all that kind of safe talk. When she was finished we heard Walker yell "HEY LOOK AT MINE!!!!!" Not to be outdone, we turn around to find Walker with his shirt pulled up, and everything else pulled down. Sawyer started laughing which encouraged our little Walkstar like nothing else, so then he starts shaking it and dancing around the room. I'm trying to get his pants pulled back up while holding Sunny, while the dr. is trying to remain professional. Then Sawyer got his 5 shots while I tried to grab the dr. to look at Sunny's ears. Guess What.....INFECTED. But I didn't get the 2 for 1....I had 2 copays at the front when we left. You would think that wraps it up....but no, by Saturday (oh yes,the weekend) we were back at the clinic for Sawyer. He had the FLU (and we all got the flu mist earlier this year! go figure...must be the wierd immune system i told you about). So if you're doing the math that makes for $125 in copays, 2 prescriptions, and 4 over the counter meds in a period of 21 days! I think we need to look into a health savings account. Except, I'm not sure it would make much sense,since we won't have time to accumulate anything into the savings part? On a positive note, everyone is doing much better (Sawyer's recovery is going a little slower, completely my fault since I messed up on the dosage instructions and was only giving him the med once a day instead of twice--------will that go in my motherhood record too?)

Love and Marriage defined by Sawyer

So the other day we were all in the van on the way to a birthday party with some of Sawyer's friends. They were watching Curious George and since Sawyer has seen it over 15 times he was narrarating it for his friends. He was giving them by play by play commentary for each scene they were watching. I heard the voice of "The Man in the Yellow Hat" and the voice of a woman talking sweetly to each other, and then I heard Sawyer explain "she loooooooooves him". I asked Sawyer how he could tell, and he said "I just know because of how their eyes look when they look at each other. You know, like how you and daddy look at each other." Then he added, "but I can tell they're not married, because they don't kiss."