In the middle. . .

Somewhere in the Middle (by Casting Crowns)

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle


This is my new favorite song. My sister-in-law sent it to me this morning right before I had to take Sawyer to soccer practice (needless to say I showed up to practice with mascara dripping down my face, wiping my eyes, blaming those pesky allergies).

It hits me hard, right where I’m at. Caught in the middle between my best and God’s best. Caught in the middle of what I say and what I do. Caught in the middle of striving and just abiding. Caught in the middle of good intentions and obedient actions.

I say caught, but I’m not. To say I’m caught is like someone standing in a huge open field screaming “Let me out of this cage. I can’t get out.” No, maybe “stuck” is more accurate.

I’m stuck in the middle.

I like before and after pictures. I love them. I like to say “Wow, what a transformation!” I get bored with the in between. I tire of the process. I like results. But that’s where I’m at right now. In the process. Clay in the hands… messy, muddy, spinning on a wheel. I either want to be the nice packaged clay in the box or the finished perfectly crafted end product. It’s this in between, this refining, this messy messy globby mess that is so hard for me.

Stacy & Sarah

What can I say, we go together like peas n carrots, peanut butter and jelly, caramel and chocolate, red wine and more red wine, I could go on and on.

When I watched McCain announce his selection, I was a little more than skeptical…What? Who? Why?

It didn’t take long to have all those questions answered---and answered well! The more I heard the more I liked! No, not just liked----loved! I was crying by the end. Crying because she said “servant heart” and meant it, crying because she is a doer and not just a hearer (or complainer!), crying because I saw someone like me on that stage, who loves this country, believes in the values it was founded on, and wants more than anything for it to be a place that is safe, clean, benevolent, moral, and truly truly looks out for the “least of these.” Is she perfect? No. Has she made mistakes, misspoken, misunderstood, miscalculated, misstepped? Absolutely, haven’t we all? Haven’t you? I know I sure have. We are a nation that doesn’t just love to throw stones, we like to sit back and watch the impact, sell tickets to the show and markup the price of the popcorn. I know this because I’ve done it.

What I’m most shocked by, however, is not the nastiness of the media, or the venom from the far left. No, what astounds me the most is the judgment and condemnation from my fellow sisters in Christ who doubt her commitment to her family and God because of her service to her country, and use a scripture reference after each attack as justification.

Scripture is alive…it is God breathed…it is useful…it is relevant…it is convicting…it is truth and love. Let us be careful that we look at scripture in context and with Spirit led discernment. (Remember the self-righteous religious folks…the good ol’Pharisees…they could quote scripture with the best of them, even the Devil himself liked to throw out a passage now and then.)

There are numerous verses that lift up the importance of a wife and a mother as it relates to the nurturing of our children, the edification of our husbands, the role and importance of the family, leading in our churches, etc. but there are also numerous verses that talk about service, advocacy, social responsibility, and civic duty. I believe these verses are in addition to…and not exclusive of… each other.

There are passages that speak of women being elevated for “such a time as this,” character studies on women of virtue who work inside and outside of the home, women who have led or helped lead their nation, and then of course the beautiful description of a noble wife in Proverbs 31:10-31. I’ve read it many times before, but read it with a new fervor when I think of Sarah Palin.

I’m proud of Sarah and will be praying for her!

Be happy, choose joy, celebrate life, smile, laugh till it hurts!

It's summertime and life is good!
Apparently we are having too much fun to find time to blog!

Underwear Psychology

Superman, Spiderman and friends, Go Diego Go, Bob the Builder, Army men---Those are the types of underwear I sorted through today while doing laundry. Someday in the future we will add Cinderella, Snow White, Barbie, etc... I laughed at the thought of grownups wearing pictures of their heroes on their underwear. Would it give us an extra boost of confidence and companionship?

So, I ask you, Who's face would be on your underpants?

I guess that is my inappropriate way of asking the completely appropriate icebreaker question of "what famous person would you like to have dinner with" (I am inappropriateness at it's best....just ask my husband).

For example, My mom's underwear drawer would have a selection that included Laura Bush Briefs, Elizabeth Elliot Panties, and Thomas Jefferson Drawers.

My father-in-law would have an Eagles Greatest Hits set of Boxers.

So, now it's your turn. . .

Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

We had “home church” last Sunday. Home Church is our preferred method of worship when we can’t make it to regular church due to a variety of reasons (fever, bad attitude, long night of crying babies, too late to be fashionably late to regular church, etc).
To kick off our worship session we asked the kids to start it off with a song and prayer before Ben read our Bible story. Walker said he wanted to pick the song, so we waited for him to choose one of the good ol’ standards (Jesus Loves Me, Our God is an Awesome God, This Little Light of Mine). It was taking him a while so we tried to suggest some of the aforementioned classics. Walker shot them all down quickly and said “no, I want to sing. . . (long dramatic pause....) Star Wars.” Sawyer started to laugh and Ben started to tell him to pick another song, but I could tell he was serious about his selection, so I told him that was a great idea and to go ahead and lead us. What followed was the sweetest, most sincere form of acapella worship that a 3 year old could muster. After the first round we all joined in as a family and sang together. It was reverent and real and made me feel closer to my family and closer to my God. (I think the Baptist Hymnal may need to be amended to include this song). And just so you know. . .
According to Wikipedia a hymn is “a type of song, usually religious, specifically written for the purpose of praise, adoration or prayer, and typically addressed to a deity/deities, a prominent figure or an epic tale. The word hymn derives from Greek ὕμνος hymnos "a song of praise".
Amazing Grace, Victory in Jesus, Because He Lives, Ode to Joy…and now, thanks to Walker, the theme to Star Wars.

Have a great day, and may the Force be with you! :)

33.3 % done....Happy 6th Birthday Sawyer!

Today is June 13th, 2008, and Ben and I are 1/3rd of the way finished raising Sawyer.
How is this possible?
Can we start over?
Can we slow down?
Wait, I don't have enough film in my camera to capture every moment....!!!!

He is 6 years old today, and we have 12 years left before he is "legally" an adult! I only have 12 years left of influence under our roof, 12 years of our "rules", daily routines, etc. Just 12 short years of getting to check in on him in the middle of the night...to sneak in and kiss his sweet forehead and tell him that he is one of my greatest blessings. How is this possible? Have I taken the last 6 years for granted as they have flown by?


We've definitely tried the "trial/error/ask a lot of advice/read a lot of books/ask for God's mercy,grace,and forgiveness" method of parenting, but if who Sawyer is at 6 is any indication of how well we've done so far--we are amazing parents (ha ha ha, Yes, God, I know that all of this is because of who YOU are and what You've done through us and others in his life----thanks a million! You are awesome! Keep it coming!).

6 years ago today my life was changed forever. I became a mommy and Ben and I became a family, and my heart has never been the same since. I have learned more about who God is, His love for us, the sacrifice He made, the joy He takes in us, the desires and hope He has for us, because of my love for Sawyer.

Sawyer is kind and sensitive, funny and outgoing, creative and intelligent, and extremely handsome (what can I say, he takes after me----------oh man, now that is good for a laugh out loud!) Others enjoy being around him and unfortunately, the ladies already love him (his friend Audrey told her mom, "I really like Sawyer" Her mom tried to downplay it and say "yes, Sawyer is a nice friend" and Audrey said wistfully, "I think it's his golden hair, (sigh)" (maybe he takes after Ben in this department after all!!!)

I am so thankful for the last 6 years, and look forward to what the next 12 years will bring. Sawyer, you make me so proud and as I tell you every night "I can't wait to see what God has planned for you----I know it's something amazing!" I'm just glad I get a front row seat!!!

People Pleaser. . .TAG

I don't usually do things like this, BUT. . . to satisfy my inner need to never disappoint someone I love, here you go Kipplyn!

The inquisition...
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player tags 5-6 people, posts their names, then leaves a comment in their respective blogs to let them know they've been tagged.
4. Let the person who tagged you know that you posted your answers.


Questions...
1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago…that makes me laugh! That puts us at June 9, 1998. I was a 19 year old girl who had no idea what the next 10 years would bring! I had just completed my freshman year at U of A and my biggest stress in life was deciding what outfit to wear on the weekends!!! It was about this time 10 years ago that I met Ben Shankle, a cute, but overly conceited, I mean, overly confident guy who had just returned to Fayetteville from the U.S. Naval Academy Prep School. He loved me from the first time he laid eyes on me (ha ha ha, I’m sure “love” is the right verb to use here instead of “infatuated with, “had the hots for”, etc, etc.). The first night we met I noticed he kept checking me out and I “busted him out” (his words) by calling him out on it. I said “Why do you keep looking at me?” and he hem hawed around till he came up with “uh, you, uh, just look like someone I know, and I, um, you know, I’m just trying to figure out who it is”. I guess the “someone I looked like” was his future wife!!!

2. What are 5 things on your to-do list today?
1. go to the gym to start week 6 of body for life---shhhh, don’t tell anyone, I don’t want any accountability :)
2. take the kids to Rick’s Bakery to order Sawyer’s star wars birthday cake
3. laundry
4. laundry (don’t be jealous of my glamorous life!!!!)
5. swimming at Grammy’s (if this rain stops, if not, more laundry)


3. What are some snacks you enjoy?
Did you see the aforementioned body for life entry??? I don’t think it is a good idea for me to daydream about my beloved snacks (chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, COKE COKE COKE COKE), instead let’s talk about how great protein is…yummy!!! Can I have some more chicken please?

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
Billionaire???? I can’t even fathom how much money that is. Okay on a deep meaningful level, I would build orphanages, hospitals, schools, sponsor missionaries, as well as go on mission trips to Africa and Romanian Orphanages, travel the world with my family so that my children see what the world looks like (the good, bad, and ugly) and show them how we can serve others. On a not so deep level, buy really fun gifts for my parents, in-laws, grandparents, etc. (oh, and probably a boob job).

5. What are 3 of your bad habits?
3 bad habits---that’s a hard one (wink wink). Letting my emotions control me, telling Ben how to drive (however, I find this to be very helpful, probably, even at times, lifesaving), and talking too much. Oh, and I seem to have a total disregard for correct grammar and punctuation at this point in my life (I love parentheses, commas, and . . .’s ) they accentuate the areas in my conversational writing style where my sarcasm and wit come in, plus I’m not getting graded (naaana naaana booo booo). Oh, and leaving all the lights on, sorry Ben! And I have a messy car. And I don’t write thank you notes (actually, I write them and then don’t send them because I don’t have any stamps, because this is 2008 and we do EVERYTHING online so why can’t we just send thank you emails????) Anyway, oh yeah, I was only supposed to write 3 (did mention I talk too much?)


6. What are 5 places you have lived?
1. Siloam Springs “where Jesus is Lord” ---we really do have a billboard that says that when you pull into town! I love it! What a great place to be raised!!!
2. Fayetteville (where Jesus is still Lord but they definitely don’t have a billboard that says so!!!)
3. ABQ, NM (the land of entrapment…I mean “enchantment” yeah, that’s it!)
4. WalMart, AR (aka Bentonville)
5. Cave Springs


7. What are 5 jobs you've had?
1. lifeguard
2. Hostess at Bennigan’s
3. Junior Lobo Club Director
4. Marketing and Communications Coordinator (Enhanced Communications Group)
5. “Just a Mom” I love that phrase…. “what do you do?” “oh, I’m just a mom” There’s nothing else I’d rather “just” be!

8. What is currently playing on your IPOD?
I don’t really know where my IPOD is! I usually just download free sermons from Mosaic church in California (Erwin McManus). Don’t get me wrong you’ll still find a strange mixture of Jars of Clay, Britney Spears (shhhh, don’t tell), Tupac, and George Straight.

9. What are the last 5-6 books you've read?
The Shack
Love and Respect
The Cry of My Soul
(I just got 2 new books at Church last week, Living Proof, and TrueFaced)
Oh yeah, and Goodnight Moon, and Gid the Kid--The Tale of the Black Bean Bandits

10. Who do you want to tag?
Becca
Jonna
Shannon